TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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