Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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