Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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