oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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