hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
