I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
