just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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