He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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