my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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