My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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