Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
