You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
