The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
