So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize