I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
