I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Randomize
