Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
