What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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