people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
