i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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