Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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