My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
