Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
