and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
