well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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