Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
