just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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