haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
