I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
