Sry I called you an 8
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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