So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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