Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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