I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
