i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
