im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
