He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm too high and old for this...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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