i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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