That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
