I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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