kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
