The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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