I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
