So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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