I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
