OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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