He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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