...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
