i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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