flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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