I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
