those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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