i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize