So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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