8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
