so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize