Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize