I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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