I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
where does the pee come out of this thing
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
