Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
