"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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