I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
